Due to my exceptional time management skills I was once again rushing off to work. I just got back from the gym and haven’t much time to figure out what to wear so I grabbed what was available, threw it on and rushed out the door.
The shirt was decent enough, had collar so its consider business appropriate attire. The pants however was NOT a good choice.
It turned out to be one of my skinny pants in my old days when I was able to fit into a pair of 29W x 30L pants. That was a long time ago.
In my haste to leave the house I didn’t realize how snugged it was. This realization didn’t come about until I got into work, while walking to my desk I noticed that I had picked my wedgie at least 5-6 times already.
This is way over my daily wedgie count. Normally its 5-6 for the entire 8 hours I am there. I looked down and sadly realize that I am now one of those guys that wear tight snugged pants to work.
As I was walking to my desk, having came to the conclusion that I am currently wearing the tightest pants in the world, a coworker walked by and greeted me. I offered the same courtesy and greeted her back but for the life of me I don’t know why my tone suddenly changed and instead of a normal “hello” it was one of those high pitch “helllllllllooooo”. Great! now I am not only wearing tight pants but greeting people weird. This cannot be my legacy, I refuse to be known as the” dude that wear really tight pants” and the weird high pitch greeter amongst the office gossip.
It goes without saying that I didn’t have much room to put my man parts. Another reason for the exceptionally high wedgie pick count. Its too late to head home and find another pair of pants, I don’t have many options now that I am at work having picked my wedgie for the 8th time. The only viable option was for me to limit my walking around as much as possible and go into ninja mode avoiding direct eye contact.
Luckily my job doens’t require a lot of interaction with my coworkers because if I have to bend over for any reason, my pants might rip and they will see more of me then they’d like to.
Excuse me while i pull… Damn it, these pants are too freaking tight.