Rafael Nadal is an a$$hole

Edit: 2-25-2009 This article DOES NOT reflect my attitude toward Rafa, he’s a great tennis player. I got mad respect for him. Its just a joke guys 🙂

Well, don’t  get me wrong. He’s a great tennis player. I was watching when he tore Roger Federer apart at the French open and also at Wimbledon where he gave it his all to finally take the title from Federer and with it the number 1 world ranking. I am just not very fond of his intimidation and distraction tactics. Anyone who ever saw Nadal play either live or on national television know that he’s not shy to pick his wedgie. Case in point, look at the picture below.

dude going at it like nobody is looking

dude going at it like nobody is looking

You’re all fooled if you think he has an actual wedgie to pick, this is just one of his many distraction tactics employed to confuse and ultimately break down his opponent.  The tight shorts shorts and revealing tidy whities are a mean to an end. An ultimate end where he humiliate the other player on live national television.

Tennis is war, fought on various turfs and Nadal is the Sun Tzu of the court. Normally, during his matches, Nadal will play it coy and pretend to be under pressure, he will give up the first set. The trap is then set and classic Nadal I&D (Intimidation & Distractions) tactics will come into play.

First he will innocently pick his wedgie to distract his opponent, not sure what’s going on over on the other side of the court, his opponent is probably thinking, wow poor guy, the pressure must be getting to him, he’s picking his wedgie in public and not even realizing it. Before he ever got the chance to finish the thought Nadal had already taken the first game. The games now stand a 1-0 with Nadal leading. At the start of game two Nadal will pull out his ace and throw in an orgasmic groan after every shot that connect. At this point his opponent is totally distraught, WTF is going on ? he was just picking his wedgie and now he’s having an orgasm every time he return a shot, are we playing tennis or are we engaging in violent buttseck ? Yet again, another game won without much effort. The score now stand at 2-0.

It get worse from then on, knowing that he had broken his opponent’s concentration Nadal will bring out his “A” game and proceed to utterly destroy him, winning in straight sets, game after game.

What does Nadal do when the match is over and another opponent defeated ? He DOES NOT graciously shake the other player’s hand. No Nadal celebrate with style…

Unsportman like conduct

Unsportman like conduct

Yes I kid you not, after every win he will get into the above position and proceed to furiously air hump the heck outta the racquet while screaming sexual profanity to proclaim his dominance. WHO’S YOUR DADDY HUH HUH ? CAN YOU SAY IT… RAFAEL MUTHEREFFING NADAL B1TCH!!!!!

What an a$$ hole.

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79 thoughts on “Rafael Nadal is an a$$hole

  1. Dude.You’re just a hater that an athlete like him is ruling the sport that he is in man. He does pick his wedgies and its pretty hilarious. Better than having to show the word that he has a his shorts eaten up like a bitch.

    And for his celebrations on his match. Damn you are a total hater man. I’ve seen and followed Rafa and he is never like that.

    Adios! Hater!

  2. Wow!
    You sound really jealous, like c’mon if you dislike him so much, then why study how he plays tennis???
    I think you need to calm down!

      • dude… if he “sucks” so much WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ON THIS SITE?!
        nadal is fucking epic he’s my favourite player and… seriously all you people that have nothing better to do that insult someone over the internet need to get life and grow a pair 🙂
        also nadal does not get into “the above pose” every point he gets and he does not say “WHO’S YOUR TENNIS DADDY HUH HUH ? CAN YOU SAY IT… RAFAEL MUTHEREFFING NADAL B1TCH!!!!!” and he does graciously shake the other players hand…

        if this truly is a joke its the shittest one ive ever seen. and if you have “mad respect” for him why write it??

        people like you give me the major shits… bye bye ass face 😀

        ❤ you nadal 🙂

  3. I thought that was completely hilarious.
    obv Nadal is like the most polite and nicest guy ever. Who could resist that adorable spanish accent.
    And i think he picks his wedgies because its become a routine. He has many rituals like his water bottles lined up ect. Its just something that makes him comfortable so let him do it!
    RAFAS AWESOME!!!

  4. wahah!!i think we all can’t get enough of him ..water bottles lined up ,fix his hair,even the bananas he ate,cute spanish accent,i can go on and on..ay…rafa!!!

  5. He is truly n0.1..pure sexy id kill 4him so dnt say anythn bad b0ut him..n da wedgie picking is so cute..i l0ve himmm…i reeeeaaally do

  6. Nadal is the MAN!!

    it sounds to me like your the asshole!! Rafa is not only a champion on court but also off the court.. he takes winning and losing graciously.
    He is a humble man – always showing true sportsmanship.

    RAFAEL NADAL you are my idol!

    and did i mention how cute he is! and sexy xx

  7. That is an outrageous assumption!
    I love Rafa and he is truly an exceptional player and number one in the world!
    If u actually assess his game properly then u wuld see that the shots that he plays are extraordinary and u would also see that he puts tramendous effort into every single shot!….
    He goes that little but further then all the others, thats why he is ranked world number 1!…
    And as far as the wedgie goes, the other player cant even see that he is doing that and they are concentrating on their own game…
    and for u to say that he is an asshole, that is unreasonable… when u watch the after match interviews, he is the nicest guy on the planet! he smiles and is always polite…
    so i dont know how you came up with this rot!

  8. That was some funny shit! But you are full of it! Do you have some secret fantasies about RAFA??? That’s the only reasoning I could come up with. When have you last played your heart and guts out like he does? And you certainly are not very respectful, and Rafa is the most respectful sports figure I have ever seen (back off crybaby Federer)!

  9. watta bloody tool
    and you know all this howww?

    are u soo far up his ass that u even know when he has real wedgie or not?

    have sum respect, if he wants to do these things then GOOOD! coz whatever his doing certainly works if his world number 1..

    nadal for the win! (:

  10. Guys its a joke! Seriously, the guy said he has respect for Nadal, its pretty funny and its not really that offensive.
    Its not like Djokovic who was constantly imitating him at tournaments, to thousands of people, now is it?

  11. wat do u expect i mean after a rough game he prob has a wedgie… and so wat if he picks it i mean its not like the whole world is gonna end i mean everyone has picked a wedgie before…and also there are like millions of cameras talking pics of him every sec so of course theres gonna be some mistake its not his fault….and wen he wins a game he should be proud of himself and dance and do watever but after he does tht he always shakes hands with the loser…and if u hate him so much y dont u jst ignore him? personally i think u should give it a fucking rest…
    P.S. ur a fuckin asshole..

  12. This is the funniest shit I’ve seen all day. Rafa is amazing and now so are you. Thanks for making me smile and finding me an amazing picture of the man of my dreams air-humping a tennis racket…WOW!

    Everyone who hates this should get a life… It is a joke…and a damn good one.

    That man is SEXY

  13. Wow,
    I’m angree about this,
    this is bullshit.
    I hate what you see.
    It’s all about Tennis not this bullshit.
    You are the jalous.
    You must changed that realy fast because I hate this and I hate you also.

    Do this not, Get this way.
    you are the asshole.

  14. the a load of rubbish he is the best of the best i think u r the asshole bitch he ruls at tennis all u hav said is bullshit

    asshole

  15. obviouslyyyy you’re not a tennis playerr.
    well i am, and tennis is intensee.
    let me tell you something.
    his weddgiess? routine, its not a fucking distraction tactic.
    that may be where his focus comes from.
    you know maria sharapova? she fixes her strings to focus and get some thinking time in. it’s all a part of being able to calm yourself and re-adjust.
    and you OBVIOUSLY DON’T WATCH TENNIS VERY WELL either. dude, he is a spaniard. are you kidding me? spaniards are like top-notch gentlemen. they have really good mannerrs.
    you have no idea what it takes. i do. beennnnn theree.
    if he is losing, it’s because he is losing. He doesn’t have to be on top of his game 24/7 and he sure as hell doesn’t lose to break down his opponent. and when federer lost to him at wimbledon, he said sorrry to all of federer’s fans but you probably didn’t catch that did you? it’s not arrogance itt’s pure huumility and god sportsmanship.
    no reassson to be hatiiiing.
    he’s awesome and he will always be number 1!

  16. um… that is very perseptive of you, but not all is true

    when rafa picks his wedgies… yes he just it in front of the crowd its not lk u can call a time out every 5 minutes to pick a wedgie

    and when he wins we never humps the air… he falls to the ground on his back and throws his hands into the air, then he gets up and runs over to his victim and shakes his hand with a graceous smile

    and if u were hitting a tenis ball that hard and running around as much as he does with in a half and hour youd be letting out some perti weird sounds to its not to destract its fatique

    DUMB A$$!!!

    i love rafael an i hope he kicks butt in the french open

    VAMOS RAFA!

  17. I am a HUGE Rafa fan but I find this pretty hilarious!! I love Rafa and I can’t imagine him like of that’s written above but nevertheless this is great laugh!

  18. I love how some people can’t understand the concept of a joke. He SAID he had respect for Rafa, so everyone who is taking this too seriously and pacing in front of their computer, sipping apple juice and burning with rage and stupidity, shut up.

    At least learn to read. Rafa is a great player, and he does sound like he has orgasms after every shot. Not Sharapova-level orgasms, but orgasms nonetheless.

    Now we know why he has the wedgie….

    Anyway, faggots who can’t understand the concept of a joke should not be allowed on the internet. They should be harvested and sent to the Moon.

    And if you think I’m serious, you had better die. Now.

    AufWiedersehen!

  19. hello,

    i want to tell you that you are a sac.
    you are a ashole, and i hate you a lot,
    cape it away

    hateyou, bye!

  20. OMFG…..all of u are fucking morons!!!!! the guy said it was a joke, a joke people, ever heard of those? he said he respects the man and loves to see him play; he also said that he was not a hater and to not take it seriously….to all of those who apparently did what the fuck is wrong with you? maybe you all need to get your eyes checked or perhaps you should read what someone has to say before you jump in with your two cents!!!!! lighten the fuck up!!!!!!

  21. Your article was hilarious XD thanks for the laugh. I just read abt him in the newspapers so I googled randomly. Sucks that so many ppl are on your case when this is obviously for lulz. Great article tho! distraction tactics ftw!!! XD

  22. omg… that was so funny… i totally was just talking about how he always has a murf to pick… lol…
    p.s… hes totally an awesome tenis player and im not haten… its just funny…

  23. “he’s not shy to pick his wedgie. ”
    yeah, he pulls his wedgies alot…hmmm..I thought no one notices that..he’s great player and all..he sets me on fire every time he plays, but whats with the wedgie thing? maybe he needs to change into more comfortable pants, wider ones like boxers.

  24. not only does nadal smear his NASTY bum-juice all over each ball all game long he has the nads to shake his apponent’s hand at game-end with the same hand he’s been using to pick his NASTY bum all game long!! I may never defeat nadal on the court but also I will never shake his right hand in any game and the whole tennis world will know that it’s because his apponent thinks he’s NASTY! Take that head game nadal. Somebody please defeat nadal and shove your sweaty bum in his face at the net when the game is done and act like he should be grateful. Thank you

  25. I don’t think you understand why he’s picking his pants.. All the things he does are rituals. Have you never seen how he puts down his water bottles and his bananas. If you really believe that picking your underware is a tactic for distracting your oponent, you must be sick.

  26. Well I can see that there’s truly some passionate people on here that’s for sure! Not to mention being topped off with Charlie’s awesome random comments all posted at 2 in the morning on the same day lol

    This whole thread is freaking hilarious!

  27. The people commenting on this site are all retarded! it’s a joke, its even stated at the beginning that its a joke!!! and it’s pretty funny too. i bet if rafa read this he would laugh. wanna know why? cuz he has a sense of HUMOR! seriously lighten up guys…..ps if you can’t handle this NEVER watch saturday night live or any other comedy/parody show.

  28. Thanks for the disclaimer–this is just a joke. Obviously some people missed that. I thought it was pretty darn funny. Sure a bit ridiculous and over the top, but that’s the humor of it all. Thanks for recognizing that Nadal is a great player. As odd as that butt picking habit is, I love his game, charm, and humility. This whole thread was quite entertaining.

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