Edit: 2-25-2009 This article DOES NOT reflect my attitude toward Rafa, he’s a great tennis player. I got mad respect for him. Its just a joke guys 🙂
Well, don’t get me wrong. He’s a great tennis player. I was watching when he tore Roger Federer apart at the French open and also at Wimbledon where he gave it his all to finally take the title from Federer and with it the number 1 world ranking. I am just not very fond of his intimidation and distraction tactics. Anyone who ever saw Nadal play either live or on national television know that he’s not shy to pick his wedgie. Case in point, look at the picture below.
You’re all fooled if you think he has an actual wedgie to pick, this is just one of his many distraction tactics employed to confuse and ultimately break down his opponent. The tight shorts shorts and revealing tidy whities are a mean to an end. An ultimate end where he humiliate the other player on live national television.
Tennis is war, fought on various turfs and Nadal is the Sun Tzu of the court. Normally, during his matches, Nadal will play it coy and pretend to be under pressure, he will give up the first set. The trap is then set and classic Nadal I&D (Intimidation & Distractions) tactics will come into play.
First he will innocently pick his wedgie to distract his opponent, not sure what’s going on over on the other side of the court, his opponent is probably thinking, wow poor guy, the pressure must be getting to him, he’s picking his wedgie in public and not even realizing it. Before he ever got the chance to finish the thought Nadal had already taken the first game. The games now stand a 1-0 with Nadal leading. At the start of game two Nadal will pull out his ace and throw in an orgasmic groan after every shot that connect. At this point his opponent is totally distraught, WTF is going on ? he was just picking his wedgie and now he’s having an orgasm every time he return a shot, are we playing tennis or are we engaging in violent buttseck ? Yet again, another game won without much effort. The score now stand at 2-0.
It get worse from then on, knowing that he had broken his opponent’s concentration Nadal will bring out his “A” game and proceed to utterly destroy him, winning in straight sets, game after game.
What does Nadal do when the match is over and another opponent defeated ? He DOES NOT graciously shake the other player’s hand. No Nadal celebrate with style…
Yes I kid you not, after every win he will get into the above position and proceed to furiously air hump the heck outta the racquet while screaming sexual profanity to proclaim his dominance. WHO’S YOUR DADDY HUH HUH ? CAN YOU SAY IT… RAFAEL MUTHEREFFING NADAL B1TCH!!!!!
What an a$$ hole.