Confessions of a college dropout

January 12, 2005. The last day of my prestigious college career. My grades and SAT score weren’t good enough to be accepted directly into a 4 year college so I had to spend 2 years at a community college and later transfer into the 4 year university. I half-assed my time at the community college and managed to get accepted into UMCP via transfer. The two years I spent at CP were also half assed efforts and I never got anything out of it. Everything came to a halt when I was told that I needed to get a full time job to help support the family, the deal was for me to work full time and still attend school. Since I’ve never fully applied myself in anything, that notion was impossible, I got a job and a few weeks later I promptly dropped out. I started working on January 1, 2005. I always told myself that I would work harder and go back to school to complete my education. Again I didn’t really make any headway, as usual it was a half assed effort and I managed to complete a few credits each semester. That wasn’t getting anywhere, it will be a while before I have enough for a degree. I have been at it for a bit over three years now and I am not satisfy with the results. The situation in turn made me into someone I am not. An angry, self loathing, defensive little man that have no self confidence and rely on others for acknowledgements. As such I am 25 now turning 26 in a few months, and I have nothing to show for it, no big paying job, no meaningful relationship, and of course no $$. Only recently do I realized that this half assed way of living isn’t working out anymore, for once I want to fully apply myself in something and see it to the end. This time around I will take it seriously and give it my all. I really don’t want to be a 30 year old with no ambitions and a bleak future. I want stuff, perhaps a nice car, someone to love and a family would be nice too.

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